Its been only 3 days since my last entry...but why do i feel i've got many things to write here?...maybe because a lot of things have happened? and a lot of people have been coming in and out of my life?...and a lot of decisions that has to be made? sigh...i hope i dont miss a thing here...here goes...
my RUTH
ok..ok..let me start this entry with a good one...let me update you with my Ruth. I went to see the Walking on Water concert at NUS, got a good seat (price is not too expensive if u really like her music, but for my friend who doesnt really like her, she thinks its a waste of money paying SGD24 for a front seat because she tells me, people should go there for music so its ok to seat at the back and pay a lil cheaper...people dont pay for front seat for a music concert...well....its her opinion..) I've noticed most of the crowds are oldies (well..its a gospel concert!!)...some are families...but there's one group there that caught my attention..a group of gay people...hmm maybe 5 or 6 of them, all lesbians..very obvious lesbians...made me wonder who among the band is gay? could it be Ruth? hehehe just a wishful thinking...but i think its the drummer, Audrey...well, who ever it is, it doesnt really matter. im just glad that their band is gay friendly..hehe All in all, the show was great..good music, inspiring lyrics (all originally composed and most of the songs are written by Ruth), great band...but the fabulous time i had did not end there. You see, after the concert, i was too nervous to go and look for her...so i just decided to leave. But on my way out, i walked towards the restroom, and on my way there...i almost bumped into who else but Ruth!!! whoa!!!! i was stunned! i dont know what to do...but i know i had to think and act fast so yeah..i extended my hand and said 'hi Ruth!' ... everything happened too fast...i was able to talk to her about her music and her album and she told me to check her web site, but i told her i already did that and i found out that some part of the site has been hacked. so yeah..after so many "uhmm" and "sure! sure! "and "great! great!" ..she gave me her email address (even before i tried to ask for it!) and asked me to email her so we could talk more. then after that, i walked away because people are starting to gather around her to give her flowers and to tell her how great the concert is...but then, as i walk towards the main entrance of the theatre, i said to myself...'i cant leave this place without asking her to have a picture taken with me' so knowing my stubborn self, i went back to her and waited till the people beside her has subsided...then she noticed me, trying to get a glimpse of her, trying will all my might to capture a shot of her...and u know what?? she walked towards me and asked me, 'im sorry but im afraid i didnt get your name?' well well...so much for my introduction rehearsal...i only managed to say, 'uhhmm im rachel!, nice to meet u ruth!' the she asked how long i've been here in SG and so on and so forth...then a guy came and i asked him if its ok to take our photo...he politely obliged hehe i guess i didnt give him much of a choice, when i asked him in front of Ruth hehehe so there! i got a photo taken with her....sad part is, his hand is a bit shaky and my camera is not shake-proofed! so..it was a terrible shot...but its ok...i thought, this will not be the last time i'll see her..i know i'll have more chance to see her again...plus i've already got loads of videos of her while she sang in her concert (will upload them here maybe next week!) ...so thats it..i got her email addy and i got some photo and videos of her! and i get to shake her hand again!! and hear her call me by my name. 3 days after the concert, i emailed her! i finally got the courage to do it! so yeah..i wrote the typical 'how are you?', 'great show' and a lot more not so witty stuff...told her about me and why im here in SG and how i came to know her and how i feel blessed because i was only looking for something to kill time when i found their band performing in Sentosa, when i was only trying to find some info about her and i found her personal website, when i was only trying to find the lyrics of one of her songs and i found a sound engineer who actually worked with her during her college days, when i was trying to find her CD in the CD shops here and i got a free CD that was given during their concert. Sigh...the blessings are endless...and its too overwhelming. The next day...i received a reply...yup...she's so nice to reply despite her busy schedule...she told me she could hand me the CD during Sunday service in the church, and that she will be performing on Friday, Aug 11 at Indochine and if im free, she'll be glad to introduce me to the filipino couple (singer and guitarist) that she's working with (story, to be told later after this) and she told me she welcomes a filipino friend. I felt good after reading her email. Im sure im not star strucked. its the kind of feeling that you get when things you've hoped happens and there's more. ..how i wish i'll have the same humility that she has....will be working on it... i really think i should!
Friday Ecstasy
Last Aug 11, after i've deleted my blog in Live Journal (LJ) for reasons that are so obvious, i dont want her (my kissing friend) to know whats going on in my life, so i transfered all my entries to blogspot...and im quite happy with it. though im still familiarizing myself on the How-to's of Blogspot...not that techy you know! and so..after all the trouble of transfering everything...i know i needed a break..i know i need something to keep my mind off her...i want to stop thinking about her for a while and free myself from the agony that she's been unintentionally giving me...so without too much deliberation, i decided to go to Indochine to watch Ruth perform. It was a great evening. Nice and not so expensive drinks..nice place though a bit too classy (good for expats)... then she saw me from the crowd...and she smiled...sigh...i could only sigh...so i drank and listen to the music while i watched her play the keyboards...once again...i recognized the passion for the music that i adore in her...during the break, she went to my table and told me that she'll introduce me to her filipino friends...so yeah..we talked a bit...i tried hard not to speak Tagalog so she wont feel out of placed...geesh! she was so nice!! good person i must say! then she told them about me...what i told her in my email, she actually told them in front of me...and it felt good u know! remembering all those things about me. then she asked me if i'll be staying till they finish the last set..as much as i would want to save in the taxi fare (in SG they charge 150% if its 1Am onwards) , i said yes...because i really really love watching and hearing her play the keyboards...then while im talking to the filipina jazz singer, i requested a song...'the way u look tonight' ... and its nice because the singer said "i've got a suggestion here from a friend, then she looked my way, and so did my Ruth" and the she sang the song...sigh..if only i could tell ruth that its for her...but no...i wont spoil whatever good start that we have right now...whoa!!! this looks like a novel now....but to make the long story short...(not shorter)...after they finished with the last set, she went back to my table and chatted for awhile. when she asked me where i stay...i told her i live in the West area, she asked me if its ok with me to share the cab with her because she also stays in the west....WOWW!!!! i dont even have to think about it...i immediately said 'Yes, why not? that would be great!' with a big smile on my face! so...there it goes...we shared the cab...exchanged little info about ourselves then she asked me if i want to join her for lunch on Sunday after the church because she'll be having lunch with a friend on sunday...i told her, no, coz i already have something on for sunday...hehe next time, i should think twice before accepting any appointment for sunday! then, she asked me where she can eat filipino food...and what she should order so i told her..i'll be very glad to accompany her one of these days and give her a guided tour in filipino cuisine..(really looking forward to that!!) .... then, as inevitable as it was...we came to her place...wooohooo!! i now know where she lives!! Which is one good thing. I feel that she trusted me enough to let me know where she lives. not that i would stalk her...of course not!! im not a stalker...i could just get quite resourceful if i want to...to sum it up...it was a great evening, good company, good spending, good music, and i got to know where she lives! so this is how my friday went...too much ecstasy...too much for a friday night!
my Kissing Friend
the root (not pronounced as ruth) of it all...the deletion of my LJ, creation of blogspot, drinking at indochine, and too many days of not blogging....bitched out for a while, as you will notice in my previous entry...but what can i do? she have hurt me so much? she's not telling me what's happening so how can she expect me to understand? what she's feeling, what she's going through. i need to know so i will understand. so i will accept. but its ok now...i guess, we're better off as friends....no more friends with benefits..no more kissing friends...maybe, we should just be good friends. After avoiding her for 8 days...i finally talked to her 2 days ago. Things will not be the same...but i think this is better. better for both of us.
my Sister
last monday, i received an SMS from my sister...she was sent to the hospital because of Congestive Heart Failure...and she was in a critical condition. Her heart became twice its normal size (huh! imagine if i have a big heart like that, maybe i'll have more love to give?) , she couldnt breathe. What made things worse..she just gave birth 5 days ago to a baby boy, and since they've got no one there, her husband has to stay home to take care of their baby. Sigh...i felt so helpless...i wanna be there for my sister. She needs me there. she needs her family. but we're too far from her. She was alone in the hospital, waiting for her nurse friends and housekeepers to visit her in the hospital during their free time. I can only call her from time to time so she wouldnt feel so alone. kept her company (never mind my phone bills) for as long as i can...that was the time when i could not find myself to pray..i just keep on crying...have u ever experienced that...tyring to pray and talk to God but u couldnt? i couldnt remember any prayer. i dont know where or how to start praying. suddenly...praying is something so alien to me. i had to call my friend (my kissing friend) because she's the one who always encourages me to pray and the one who helps me in nurturing my faith...she came to my place immediately...and helped me pray for my sister...u know, after that night, i realized that when things are not in your control...there's nothing that you should do but to pray. not as a last resort but it should be the first thing that you should do.
I've got one more big 'happening' to tell...but i guess...this is too much for an entry...so i might as well blog about it tomorrow.
so...these are the things that have happened for the past few days of my crazy life...hmm come to think of it..its not so crazy after all.
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