Friday once again

its friday once again...one more day down...72 days to go before the new year!!

there is so much to write, i will just type and think or think and type...or maybe easier if i just type and not think at all...so here goes...

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been reading a lot of blogs lately..most of them, blogs of filipino women...some, straight...some, not so straight...some, confused. i find it very interesting really. different stories, different reactions to things. i find myself commenting to their entries and i kinda enjoy reading their replies too. huh! talk about being busy. dont get me wrong. i have lots of work here nowadays. but sometimes, you just get tired of it you want to do something new. you want to read something more than the program codes.... hopefully, i'll have my internet access at home by next week...cant wait to read more blogs hehe

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i am now talking to my ex-kissing friend (for the nth time!) ... but its quite different now. each time i see her, i try my very best to detach any emotions. quite hard, esp for me who is too sentimental. i try very hard not to ask anything about her or her personal life. dont want to hear more lies, couldnt stand more superficial conversations with her... sigh...sometimes, we run out of things to say... a bit uncomfy for both of us, i could sense her effort to think of things to ask and say too... sometimes, i wonder, if we'll ever get tired of this kind of friendship...it sucks!! i told her the last time i saw her that i dont trust her anymore... as much as i would want to bring back the way we used to be as friends, i couldnt. its just so hard to trust again if the person keeps on hurting you...im not that stupid. im not numb. i have feelings too. and i get tired too.

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two nights ago, i was sms-ing a friend... the keyboardist i was talking about in my previous entries, then we were talking about faith and struggles..and i dont know..it just came out..i told her the truth. and she was so cool (not cold) about it. not that i expected her to be shocked or anything but at least, she was so calm when i told her. im meeting her on sunday..for breakfast..and we'll talk more. this is the 'coming out' kinds that i've always looked forward to..coming out to close friends..not just colleagues or acquaintances..i really dont care if they know or not..wouldnt even bother admitting or denying. what matters to me are the people close to my heart, family, close friends, and bestfriends. because they're the people whom i want to know so they would understand. and hopefully, accept.

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im quite pissed off with work today. sometimes, i still feel like im being discriminated here. and i hate it! not only because im a girl in a men's department (or so they've thought!) but also because im a filipino. yesterday, they were talking to one Filipino lady staff in their PH office, and they had a hard time pronouncing her name and then they keep on telling me how filipino names are awful! HELLO!!! as if their names are that nice! Grrrrrr.... if i had not controlled my temper, i could have given them the filipino version of jab and upper cut!!!

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had two drum lessons already..woohoo!! looking forward to the third this coming sunday! feels good..so goooooood!! the instructor is quite nice. intimidating at first maybe because he's a big big guy hehehe hopefully, i can play the song 'that thing you do' .... can't wait to play it like tom everett scott did!!!

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as i've mentioned...i've been reading some blogs...and its nice to come across blogs about gay people having found the love of their lives ...like ellen and her rachelle, joy and her joyjoy, mich and her heidi....sigh....these people...these kind of stories are the ones that makes me look forward to that day when i'll be meeting her... the kind of inspiration that makes me stand after each fall... and when that day comes...there will be rachel and her _______....